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Feel like a Failure? 5 Great strategies to change your feelings from Failure to Fulfillment
Feel Like a Failure?
5 Great strategies to change your feelings from Failure to Fulfillment - Be Proud of Yourself
By: SPU (Single Parents University)
When one goes thru separation and divorce they cannot help experiencing intense emotional feelings such as failure, disappointment, anger, resentment and regret. Whether you initiated the end of the relationship or not most people feel just lost, scared, unworthy and depressed. A divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether. This is normal and you are not alone.
An ending of a marriage/relationship is an enormous step and change in ones life. The fact that children are involved makes it even bigger. Unfortunately most people would rather remain in an unhappy relationship than leave. If you find the courage to let go of an unhappy marriage/relationship or are forced into doing so, the following 5 strategies can assist you to uplift your feelings from desperation to determined, from insanity to serenity and to realize you really are a winner and should be proud of yourself.
1. Turn regrets into thankfulness.
You decided to marry, with good intention – for better or worst, till death do us part – it wasn't in your plans to divorce. You married to share your life happily with your partner. Unfortunately your relationship did not turn out but instead of feeling like you have wasted x amount of years or feeling angry and bitter with resentment, try to stop and think about what you did like in that relationship?
Why did you choose that partner at that time?
What qualities did they have that you admired?
Reflect on the fun times and what you are thankful for. E.g. having had an amazing daughter or son.
2. Defeat the P.L.O.M Disease. Stop feeling like a failure!
Avoid the P.L.O.M. Disease – Poor Little Old Me.
Over 50% of marriages in the USA and Australia end in divorce. There are millions of Single parents out there. In fact there are millions of Single, Strong and Successful Single Parents out there.
Life is about learning from your experiences and growing. The sooner you can stop feeling pity for yourself and saying to yourself “why me”, the sooner you can move on with your life and make it even better. Yes that’s right even better!!!
No matter how doom and gloom it may appear for you now if you take on the attitude that this has happened to me for a good reason – something good will come from this, than it will. In 6 – 12 months time you will look back and say, ”That was the best thing to happen to me.”
You possess all the capabilities to create a great life for yourself even after a divorce. Failure only occurs if you decide you want everyone’s sympathy and that you decide to give up on yourself. If you're still feeling hurt, give yourself time to heal. Learn to forgive yourself and move on realizing there really is a light at the end of the tunnel – All will be good.
3. FREE again to be YOU!
Too often we begin a relationship and before we even realize have sacrificed our dreams, hobbies, loves, and ambitions in order to please our partners. We change to make them happy only to find we are not happy anymore. They then find we are not the same person they first met either. It is very important to give and take in a relationship but too often one partner sacrifices all they are as an individual.
Have you lost your values? I know I did?
Start thinking about your own needs and taking charge of your own life. Sometimes people completely lose sight of their own identity.
Try making a list of all the important values, hobbies, sport, events etc that are important to you – that make you who you are – that you are not prepared to give up in your next relationship.
4. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
You should be proud of facing up to the truth and ending what was no longer fulfilling to you or your partner. Divorce does not happen over night. One or both people in the relationship have been thinking about it for quite a while. It requires true honesty and courage to "make that big decision." There are many people living in unfulfilling, miserable marriages/relationships, as a result of fear of being alone or for financial reasons or for the children’s sake. There are proven statistics and research that states this as being more detrimental to both people in the relationship and for any children as well.
Congratulate yourself and feel proud of being strong enough to have made the decision and actions to leave your partner or that you have accepted the relationship has ended. Now is a time to get re-acquainted with YOU and YOUR needs. You actually, really do have a great time ahead of you.
5. This may be the best thing for you.
Take this time as an opportunity to re-evaluate your life.
What is important to you?
What would you really like to do? (No I do not mean harm your ex) (Career wise)
What type of relationship do you really want? (Be specific and write it down)
Envisage your future as an opportunity to look at what you definitely did not like in your relationship and write down and focus on what you do want in the next. Have a sense of purpose and focus on making the best use of this period by learning and growing as an individual.
Many times you have made a decision quite uncertain about its outcome but only to realize later, that it was one of your best decisions ever. Who knows, you might even discover new passions in your life.
So now you can see, viewing your separation/divorce/relationship split from a positive perspective is essential for you to heal within and for you to understand that you have achieved a lot to get to where you are now.
We hope the above 5 tips can help you let go of any guilt and self persecution. The quicker you can start to perceive yourself as someone of worth, the sooner you can relinquish the past. Thereby you can focus fully in the present to create a more fulfilling life.
warmest regards
Christina Andrews (single parent of 4)
Co founder SPU - Single Parents University
info@singleparentsuniversity.com
http://singleparentsuniversity.com
5 Great strategies to change your feelings from Failure to Fulfillment - Be Proud of Yourself
By: SPU (Single Parents University)
When one goes thru separation and divorce they cannot help experiencing intense emotional feelings such as failure, disappointment, anger, resentment and regret. Whether you initiated the end of the relationship or not most people feel just lost, scared, unworthy and depressed. A divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether. This is normal and you are not alone.
An ending of a marriage/relationship is an enormous step and change in ones life. The fact that children are involved makes it even bigger. Unfortunately most people would rather remain in an unhappy relationship than leave. If you find the courage to let go of an unhappy marriage/relationship or are forced into doing so, the following 5 strategies can assist you to uplift your feelings from desperation to determined, from insanity to serenity and to realize you really are a winner and should be proud of yourself.
1. Turn regrets into thankfulness.
You decided to marry, with good intention – for better or worst, till death do us part – it wasn't in your plans to divorce. You married to share your life happily with your partner. Unfortunately your relationship did not turn out but instead of feeling like you have wasted x amount of years or feeling angry and bitter with resentment, try to stop and think about what you did like in that relationship?
Why did you choose that partner at that time?
What qualities did they have that you admired?
Reflect on the fun times and what you are thankful for. E.g. having had an amazing daughter or son.
2. Defeat the P.L.O.M Disease. Stop feeling like a failure!
Avoid the P.L.O.M. Disease – Poor Little Old Me.
Over 50% of marriages in the USA and Australia end in divorce. There are millions of Single parents out there. In fact there are millions of Single, Strong and Successful Single Parents out there.
Life is about learning from your experiences and growing. The sooner you can stop feeling pity for yourself and saying to yourself “why me”, the sooner you can move on with your life and make it even better. Yes that’s right even better!!!
No matter how doom and gloom it may appear for you now if you take on the attitude that this has happened to me for a good reason – something good will come from this, than it will. In 6 – 12 months time you will look back and say, ”That was the best thing to happen to me.”
You possess all the capabilities to create a great life for yourself even after a divorce. Failure only occurs if you decide you want everyone’s sympathy and that you decide to give up on yourself. If you're still feeling hurt, give yourself time to heal. Learn to forgive yourself and move on realizing there really is a light at the end of the tunnel – All will be good.
3. FREE again to be YOU!
Too often we begin a relationship and before we even realize have sacrificed our dreams, hobbies, loves, and ambitions in order to please our partners. We change to make them happy only to find we are not happy anymore. They then find we are not the same person they first met either. It is very important to give and take in a relationship but too often one partner sacrifices all they are as an individual.
Have you lost your values? I know I did?
Start thinking about your own needs and taking charge of your own life. Sometimes people completely lose sight of their own identity.
Try making a list of all the important values, hobbies, sport, events etc that are important to you – that make you who you are – that you are not prepared to give up in your next relationship.
4. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
You should be proud of facing up to the truth and ending what was no longer fulfilling to you or your partner. Divorce does not happen over night. One or both people in the relationship have been thinking about it for quite a while. It requires true honesty and courage to "make that big decision." There are many people living in unfulfilling, miserable marriages/relationships, as a result of fear of being alone or for financial reasons or for the children’s sake. There are proven statistics and research that states this as being more detrimental to both people in the relationship and for any children as well.
Congratulate yourself and feel proud of being strong enough to have made the decision and actions to leave your partner or that you have accepted the relationship has ended. Now is a time to get re-acquainted with YOU and YOUR needs. You actually, really do have a great time ahead of you.
5. This may be the best thing for you.
Take this time as an opportunity to re-evaluate your life.
What is important to you?
What would you really like to do? (No I do not mean harm your ex) (Career wise)
What type of relationship do you really want? (Be specific and write it down)
Envisage your future as an opportunity to look at what you definitely did not like in your relationship and write down and focus on what you do want in the next. Have a sense of purpose and focus on making the best use of this period by learning and growing as an individual.
Many times you have made a decision quite uncertain about its outcome but only to realize later, that it was one of your best decisions ever. Who knows, you might even discover new passions in your life.
So now you can see, viewing your separation/divorce/relationship split from a positive perspective is essential for you to heal within and for you to understand that you have achieved a lot to get to where you are now.
We hope the above 5 tips can help you let go of any guilt and self persecution. The quicker you can start to perceive yourself as someone of worth, the sooner you can relinquish the past. Thereby you can focus fully in the present to create a more fulfilling life.
warmest regards
Christina Andrews (single parent of 4)
Co founder SPU - Single Parents University
info@singleparentsuniversity.com
http://singleparentsuniversity.com
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